Whatever You Love by Louise Doughty

 

Laura's life was perfect. She had married the love of her life, David.  She had two glorious children, Betty and Rees.  She had a job she liked.  But perfect doesn't last.  David has an affair and then leaves her for the other woman with whom he has another child.  Laura goes a bit crazy but is finally starting to get her momentum back when the doorbell rings.  There stand two police who have come to tell her that her world and life are over.

On her first day walking home from school with a friend, Betty has been hit by a car.  The other girl is in intensive care but Betty died at the scene.  Laura doesn't remember much about the next few weeks.  She stumbles from task to task, not caring about anything.  How could her baby be gone?  She reaches out to David for help and comfort which he provides since only the two of them can understand each other's pain.  That brings out his new wife's insecurities and pettiness.  

As the days go by, Laura finds a purpose.  She will find the man who was driving the car and watch him until she finds the things he loves most.  Then she will take them away so that he can start to realize what he has cost her.  As her plans become more concrete, she wonders at the person she has become.  Will life ever return to normal?

This book is labeled as a thriller but I found it to be instead a retelling of a parent's grief at losing the person they brought into the world.  Unfortunately, I have several friends who have lived this horror so it hit home in many ways.  Laura is lost and desperate to find her way back to some sort of normality while slowly coming to realize that normal will always have a new meaning now.  This book is recommended for literary fiction readers and those interested in family dynamics.